Whenever I am taking the train to or from the city, I wait till it gets real quiet and then I scream at the top of my lungs. Bloody murder kind of screaming. Then I stop and look around. I see all these heads frantically popping up over the seats looking around like the little gophers that they are.

Sometimes I get lucky and someone else screams too, or someone gets up and runs to the other side of the train. Once in a while someone looks right at me with a dirty look and then I put on my “bewildered” face and say as loud as I can “What was THAT?!” and then nobody realizes it was me.

One time I went to Hale and Hearty and got myself the split pea soup and sprayed it on the train. I was especially inspired by the Exorcist movie and that’s what I was trying to emulate. Well the people in front of me – they weren’t too happy and they stood up and started wiping themselves off with an angry force (like the fast and the furious?), and the woman was dry heaving (she thought it was real vomit). I said I’m sorry but I just didn’t feel that good. Then of course the train conductor slipped and fell in it. That’s when I smelled trouble. At the next exit I hauled anus off the train to the parking lot and there was a car running so I jumped in and drove it 2 blocks and got out and left it. I walked back to the train station to catch the next train and while I was standing on the platform the police came and arrested me. I said “you can’t arrest me for vomiting, pig” and he said they were arresting me from grand auto larceny.

So I said that I wasn’t stealing it, I was moving it because it was parked in a “no standing” zone and I put it in a safer place. But they arrested me anyway. So when I was in the patrol car I commanded my gag and sprayed the pea soup all over the partition and told them that I was going to sue them for psychological torture.

Now for court they are making me get a psych eval which is ridiculous so I told them I am PSYCHED to get a PSYCH eval. How do I get out of this mess? Honestly, I think I am entitled to vomit wherever I please. It’s not like urinating or defecating in public (which I know NOTHING about at ALL).


Samurai Hoghead: All I know for sure is, when on or in any public transport and someone is staring at you, all you have to do is pick your nose to regain your space… Speaking of space, how is it up there today?

Les S: No wonder that guy on the PATH shot all those people. Having people like you around would drive anyone to violence.

HD: you really should try rehab.

Shin Nohara: “…making me get a psych eval…” Sounds like you need it.

Badge203: And you have nothing better to do that come on here and post a stupid fake story Yes you do have mental issues but it is from being delusional Talk to your therapist as soon as possible Your story is fake but you know that already and if anybody answers your question as if it is real bring the to the doctor with you because they also need help and maybe ore than you do because they do not have the common sense to tel what is real and what is not.