This morning I was at my boyfriend’s house and we were feeling a little frisky, so we went and took a shower together. We got all nice and clean and as I was stepping out of the shower I thought it would be funny so I told my boyfriend “I love you this much…” and I picked up my leg and I farted. Well, unfortunately what I thought was going to be a fart turned out to be projectile diarrhea and spray it all over my boyfriend who was standing behind me. After that he wanted me to clean up his bathroom but I was so embarrassed that I left.

Now things are really awkward for us and I think he wants to break up with me. Do you think if I gave him a card that said “I’m sorry I pooped on you” he would find it funny and then it would break the ice and we could stay together?

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Gloria: Thats funny, sorry. yeah i think you should do the card (make one because nobody will sell any like that), dont forget to say ”APRIL FOOLS!” at the end, and if he doesnt smile or laugh say ”sorry if this was awkward or weird” and laugh/kiss him?

Elizabet…: Oh my god that’s embarrassing! Send him a card like you said and tell him you’re sorry

Sammy Fox: I’m dying this is SO funny whether its true or not! I got a little embarrassed when I farted just once in front of my BF of 3 years. Good luck with THAT!

Qwerty: Looks like you’re in a shìtty situation

Mircat: Even Hallmark won’t have a card for that. Honest to heaven’s anything with fart and prank in the same sentence is a disaster waiting to happen. I think I’d, I don’t know, buy him a watch and send an apology letter with it then leave town or hope to heaven he doesn’t know anyone I know. If you manage to salvage this, please write back because I want to know how you did it! Don’t break anything else…ice, wind..etc. Good luck!

RIGHT IS RIGHT: At first I thought you were a troll but now I’m not so sure. Presuming you are not a troll, apologize to him by talking to him and tell him that you would like a get the chance to show him how you really feel about him by taking another shower with him and…….this time give him the sexiest most pleasurable shower that he has ever had.