I had my first date with a guy I met on craigslist. After we had a couple of drinks he said he wanted to go to my place. So I said ok and we went. When we got there he starts making these funny faces at me – like the evil eye or something. He tilted his chin all the way down and looked up at me through his eyelashes – it was really weird. So I started to get worried and I was like “Umm, can I get you something?” trying to be polite.

You know what he says? He tells me he wants “poo tang”. So I was like “WHAT?! You want POO Tang?” and then I said that I don’t think that Tang makes that flavor but I did have orange Tang if he wanted that. He says “No, I want Poo Tang and I want it now” and he keeps giving me the evil eye.

So I was pretty grossed out that this man like to eat Poo but I figured – I’ll fix him. So I said “I’ll be right back” and I went into the kitty litter and fetched a kitty turd and put it in a glass of water. I came back and handed it to him and said “Here’s your POO tang you freak” and he says “What the F*** is this!?”

I laughed to make light of the situation but I didn’t really think it was funny. I’m sorry but I don’t really want to be with someone who likes Poo in that way. It don’t matter though because HE had the audacity to act grossed out/offended and left even though he’s the one who asked for it. Maybe he wanted human poo.

So my question is – has anyone ever heard of “Poo Tang” before?

____________________________________________

Andy: Pootang, another word for vagina. He was wanting to shag you, you silly filthy woman.

John: Hahahaahhaahhaha, he did not want a drink, he wanted to get into your pants, he wanted sex